Mixed feelings

Received a call 2 nights ago ( Tuesday night). From a primary school friend. He called me with a bad news. My primary school's chinese teacher cum discipline master of my school, Mr Chang Chin Ho, has passed away on Sunday ( 21 october 2007). It came as a shock to me because we didn't know what happened. All we knew that he was nursing a fall, after an accident 2 years ago I think. Totally stunned on the phone when my friend broke the news to me. Didn't know how to react as well. I just listened to what arrangement he had in mind. The feeling is different to that when I heard about Mr John Lim ( my jc PE teacher) 's death from the news. I really don't know how to describe cos I'm not those who can express my emotions.

Arrangements were made to go to his wake on wednesday night ( last night). He really look so different as I remembered him to be. My memory of him was cubby and fit teacher ( he taught us PE as well if i didn't remember wrongly). Stern, as he was a discipline master, always keeping canes all over the place to punish us anytime we made mistake. So, everyone in school was scared of him. But now, come to think of it, it really moulded us to be what we are today. And I really appreciate that. Yesterday, when I saw him in the coffin, he was so much thinner and fragil. Reason being he fought with prostate cancer for the past 4 years. Can't imagine how much suffering he went thru. On top of cancer, he was also suffering from senile dementia. We happened to be able to read 1 letter that he wrote to our form teacher, saying about his life. I guess it's his way of trying to remember things as long as possible. Our class was originally planning to visit him one of these days, during CNY. Now, we will never get the chance, NEVER again. We didn't cry at the wake but I know all of us are feeling sad. 1 good teacher who contributed 30 years to KHS ( not mentioning that he taught in other schools also). The education field has lost a great teacher that we didn't know how to appreciate when we were in school.

I don't know if I'm really emotionless or I don't know how to express what I am feeling now. All mixed up. One thing I'm sure of is, Mr Chang, I really appreciate your teachings. Any friends who is reading this particular entry, a word of advise from me. If you wanna meet up with some one, better do so now. Or whatever you want to do, do it now. Don't wait or you'll live to regret like us. Now we will never have the chance. Happened to me with Mr Lim, now Mr Chang. Haiz. Goodbye sir. May Mr Chang rest in peace. He will always live in our memories.